Haseo's 12 Days of Christmas
by SplitPersonalities
Summary: Holiday fic. Haseo has no idea why his friends are acting weirder than usual.


_This is my holiday fic, decided to try one out. Was in a bit of a rush to post this before Christmas ended. I hope I made it. If I ever do another holiday fic, I'm making sure it's at least a month before the holiday. I thank ChainofGenesis, someone I know, for help with the title. XP_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own .hack//G.U. or anything else related to .hack. The only thing I own is Aiden (who only pops up once) and the idea.

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_On the first day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"Haseo…I give you myself as a gift!" Endrance smiled, leaping at the Adept Rogue.

"Back! Back away!" Haseo summoned his bike, knocking Endrance down with it before the Blade Brandier could reach him and logged off_._

_On the second day of Christmas my friends gave to me..._

"You want to give me their member addresses why?" Haseo raised an eyebrow at Bordeaux, thinking something might be wrong with her head.

"Don't get me wrong, I didn't give them to you because I like you or anything, it's just that they'll be looking for your weakness when I'm not." The Kestrel PKer replied. "I'm still going to PK you one day, so watch your back."

"…Right…are these two your only friends?" Crimson eyes narrowed a bit. "I understand why you keep Grein around, but Negimaru? He's just pathetic."

"Shut up and accept them or I'll PK you!" Bordeaux snarled, waving her blade in a threatening manner.

Slowly Haseo stepped backwards, away from the crazy woman…

"Haseo, is this ugly woman bothering you?" Endrance appeared, scaring the crap out of him. "Shall I chase her off?" He brandished his blade. "Then we may spend more time together."

"What'd you say?!" Bordeaux snarled. "Like he'd even want to spend time with a creepy stalker."

…And promptly just ran to the Chaos Gate and teleported back to Breg Epona to log off.

_On the third day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"Zelkova," Haseo spoke slowly. "I really don't want to know, but what were you thinking tying up the Azure Knights?!" He yelled at Moon Tree's guildmaster.

"I wasn't tying them up." Zelkova smiled. "I was wrapping them up for you."

True to his words, they were wrapped up nicely. Azure Kite was wrapped in paper with cute little balls of flame all around them and tied up by a blue ribbon. Azure Balmung was wrapped in paper with cute little wings all around and tied up by a white ribbon. Azure Orca was wrapped in paper with cute little waves all around and tied up by a green ribbon. Each had their hands, legs, and mouths tied up by said respective ribbons.

"Why in the World would you do that?" Haseo frowned in disbelief as he untied Aura's three Knights. "What could possibly possess you to just take the Azure Knights and TIE THEM UP?!"

"Wrapping, not tying, I thought you'd appreciate them as a gift." The boy kept smiling.

"…I don't want to know." Haseo sighed in exasperation. "Does Kaede know what you're doing? I doubt she'd approve of this." Sounds of people warping and arguing appeared. "Now what?"

"There you are Haseo!" Bordeaux snarled, dragging Grein and Negimaru with her. "Accept my goodwill already or I'll PK you!"

"As if he'll accept those ugly dolls." Endrance scowled. "He'd rather have me, right Haseo?"

"…" Haseo stared at them blankly before logging off, not being to handle anymore insanity for that day.

After he'd logged off, Zelkova went and dragged the Azure Knights away while Bordeaux and Endrance fought once again.

_On the fourth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"What is up with everyone lately?" Ryou Misaki frowned as he recalled the events of the last few days. "Might as well check my e-mail."

_To: Haseo_

_From: Atoli_

_Subject: Area Words_

_Hi Haseo, I was wondering if you'd like to go adventuring with me to four of my favorite places in **The World**._

_The area words are…_

((Aiden: Insert your own area words people, the author's too lazy to do it herself))

_I'll be waiting for you at the Chaos Gate. =)_

_To: Haseo_

_From: Zelkova_

_Subject: Present_

_Hey Haseo, I have something for you, you might like._

_Meet me at the Chaos Gate to get them. =D_

_To: Haseo_

_From: Bordeaux_

_Subject: Goodwill_

_Haseo, accept my goodwill damn it before I PK you!!!_

_I'll be at the Chaos Gate, you better appear or else! D=_

_To: Haseo_

_From: Endrance_

_Subject: Myself_

_Haseo…you may do with me as you wish._

_Let us meet at the Chaos Gate. 3_

_"…" Sighing deeply, he wrote a reply._

_To: Atoli_

_From: Haseo_

_Subject: RE: Area Words_

_Sorry Atoli, I'm not feeling well today._

_Maybe some other time._

With that, Ryou shut off his computer and decided to crawl into bed and try to forget all the craziness that was happening.

_On the fifth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"…You do realize what you just said doesn't make sense." Haseo said to Alkaid.

"What's not to understand?" The female Twin Blade asked.

"The fact you want us to do fight five times in the arena. What's so special about the number five? Couldn't you have just said you wanted us to fight a Survival Battle?"

"S-shut up!" Alkaid blushed. "Do you want to or not?"

"Haseo!" Atoli suddenly appeared and latched onto Haseo's left arm before he could answer. "Are you feeling better? I was worried when you sent me that reply saying you weren't feeling well, not to mention everyone else who was worried."

"…So I guess they were waiting for me huh." Haseo frowned a bit at the thought.

"Yup!" Atoli nodded, smiling brightly. "So, what were you and Alkaid talking about?" She asked.

"We were talking about doing a Survival Battle at the Arena." Alkaid smiled. "So, let's go already." She latched onto Haseo's right arm and started dragging him to the Chaos Gate.

"Wait!" Atoli tugged on Haseo's left arm, stopping Alkaid from going further. "Haseo said he would go to some of my favorite areas."

"We're going to the arena!" Alkaid protested.

"No, we're going to my favorite areas." Atoli shot back.

Back and forth the two tugged Haseo, arguing on just what he should be doing, not aware that it was quickly irritating him. The fact his arms hadn't been pulled off was a miracle, then again this was just an online game.

"Both of you stop it!" Haseo yelled, yanking both his arms from them.

"Haseo, hi!" Zelkova appeared, smiling. "It's good you're back on, now you can accept my present."

"Zelkova? Wait…is that the Azure Knights?! Damn it Zelkova, did you tie them up again?" Haseo stormed over and grabbed the tied up knights. "Stop tying up Aura's Knights!" He got to untying them once again.

"Haseo, you think being sick for one day will stop me?!" Bordeaux appeared. "Accept my goodwill or I'll PK you!"

"Bordeaux?!" Haseo was surprised at her appearance. "If you're here then…shit."

"Haseo, shall we go off to our undying world?" Endrance smoothly wrapped his arms around Haseo, much to his, and others, chagrin as he leapt from the Temptresses arms.

This caused more arguing to ensue and much more fighting. Thankfully for Haseo, the fighting gave him a chance to escape and log off to recuperate from the weird actions of his friends.

_On the sixth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

What started as a nice day of helping one of his friends level, turned into a horrible day as another ruined it.

"Stop moving Haseo! Rue Kruz!" Saku snarled as she chased Haseo around a field, sending attacks towards him. "Zan Rom!"

"Whoa!" Haseo narrowly dodged the attacks. "Saku, calm down!"

Too bad Bo and Saku shared a PC, especially when Saku was in a bad mood.

"How dare you steal Master En from me! Gan Bolg!" Saku yelled. "Face my punishment! Vak Don!"

"I keep trying to tell you, I didn't take Endrance from you!"

"Liar! Lei Zas!"

Haseo hoped Bo would take back over control, it didn't feel right to knock out the body that Bo used since he liked Bo better than Saku. Unfortunately, it was starting to be a losing battle as his patience was running thin with the girl.

"Ani Zot!"

Haseo dodged the attack. Readying his guns, he shot a few warning shots at Saku. He'd had enough of being on defense, now it was time for him to be on the offense.

"Haseo!" A voice called out, distracting him a bit. "Come fight with me in the arena!" Alkaid called out.

"No!" Atoli pushed Alkaid away. "Let's go to some of my favorite areas Haseo." The girl smiled, before Alkaid pushed her and the two started to sock each other.

"Hey Haseo, how are you?" Zelkova smiled, dragging a large bag behind him that moved.

"Haseo, I found you!" Bordeaux warped in, dragging Grein and Negimaru with her.

"Step away from Haseo you ugly dolls." Endrance appeared in a flurry of rose petals.

Haseo felt his brain burn out and ran towards the Chaos Gate to log off.

_On the seventh day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"I'm so sorry about Saku, Haseo." Bo used some Health Potions on Haseo.

"It's okay, she's your older sister after all." Haseo gave a reassuring smile, although on the inside he was still ticked off.

"Vak Don!" Haseo guarded what he could from the spell that hit him. "Just because Bo and Master En like you doesn't mean I do." Saku said haughtily, having taken over control.

"What else can go wrong?" Haseo grumbled to himself. The sounds of arguing followed his words. "Me and my big mouth."

"The thrill of the Arena is much better than some area!"

"But, Haseo might like to spend time in areas more."

"Hold still you three, I see Haseo now."

"What makes you think he'd like to spend time with some creepy stalker?!"

"What makes you think he wants your ugly idea of a gift?"

A headache came to the Adept Rogue, all the bickering not making anything better. A bit dazed, he tromped back to the Chaos Gate to go back to Breg Epona to log off.

_On the eighth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"Why won't she stop talking?" Ryou banged his head a bit on his table, watching as Pi kept talking and talking non-stop to Haseo. "How can she keep talking for eight hours straight?" Problems concerning the recent actions of certain people on account of him were brought to CC Corp. "It wasn't even my fault, they're the ones causing problems." Ryou moaned, looking at the others through Haseo's eyes. Logging off without even caring of the consequences, he took off his M2D and crawled into bed.

_On the ninth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"Hey there Haseo, look what I found, some fans of yours-GACK!"

Haseo twitched as Kuhn was being beat up by Alkaid, Atoli, Bordeaux, and Endrance. The Steam Gunner had the bright idea to bring nine girls to him as some kind of gift. This didn't go well with the ones mentioned above and Endrance almost summoned Macha on the girls too. Zelkova was still carrying around a giant bag that was moving and Bo was still apologizing for Saku attacking him. This was all just one big headache. At this rate, he wouldn't feel like logging on for a while

…Maybe it was time to make a new account.

_On the tenth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

_To: Haseo_

_From: Silabus_

_Subject: Canard_

_Hey there Haseo, haven't seen you at the guild for awhile. Is everything okay?_

_By the way, today there were ten noobs–_

Ryou deleted the message, not wanting to even deal with noobs at the moment. As an afterthought, he deleted the new messages sent by some of the others. Knowing them, it was something ridiculous again. He wondered what was up with them the past few days.

_On the eleventh day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

_To: Haseo_

_From: Gaspard_

_Subject: Are you okay?_

_Hi there Haseo! I didn't see you on yesterday or today. Silabus and I were getting worried._

_If you come back on, be sure to visit the shop sometimes, we're out of stock again._

_By the way, I'm sending you some Crimson VS cards, they're rare ones too! =D_

Ryou blinked as he received eleven Crimson VS cards. His eyes narrowed a bit at the number, suspicious a bit, but then shook it off. Once again, he deleted some of the messages sent by the others, not even wanting to know what was in its contents.

_On the twelfth day of Christmas my friends gave to me…_

"Bamyon!" Sora smirked as he defeated some monsters. Creating a new account was the best choice he'd made. No craziness to follow him around and he was sure no one he knew would recognize him.

Sora was a green haired, Twin Blade that wore a dark navy blue outfit with purple stripes and leather guards for protection. Ryou didn't know what compelled him to create the character as he did, but when he'd began playing as Sora, it was like a familiar feeling had enveloped him.

"Ryou?" Sora turned around to see Shino. "I see you've created a new character."

"I guess I can't get anything past you, huh." Sora grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head a bit.

Shino smiled softly. "Well, I was wondering if you could come to Hy Brasail tonight, as Haseo of course."

"Hy Brasail?" Sora kicked some Chim Chims. "What for?"

"It's a secret." Shino winked, laughing softly. "So, I'll expect to see you there." With that, she went to the Chaos Gate to log out.

"I wonder what she wants." Sora pondered before going to battle monsters.

That night, Haseo headed out to the Isle of Kings on a boat from the Mac Anu harbor. All was dark when he arrived, strange since there didn't seem to be a shred of light. Remembering the path he always seemed to take after being crowned emperor, he headed towards the top where he'd stood when being named Emperor. There, Shino stood waiting, in a faint light. Slowly she turned around and smiled.

"Hello Haseo, I see you made it." Shino spoke.

"Yeah," Haseo nodded. "So, what did you call me out here for?"

"This." Waving her hand, lights turned on and illuminated the island. Right below them, all his friends stood smiling. "I thought, since you were alone today on Christmas, you could spend it with those that care for you."

Speechless, he let Shino drag him down towards the others. He was surrounded by the crazy friends of his that had been acting strange for the past few days and could only smile softly before laughing.

In the real world, Ryou looked out his window to the sky, the same sky he knew his friends were under this very moment.

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_**AN:** I kinda got lazy towards the end and was in a rush. Not sure if this was even good, but whatev, I did my best. Sora wasn't planned in the beginning, but I decided to add him in at last minute for fun. Happy Holidays everyone!_


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